Calling All Cedu Survivors

Hello, hello, Cedu survivors, escapees and graduates… and likewise, to all from similar, sister and satellite programs (the Benchmark, NWA, Tranquility Bay nexus).

I’m working on a documentary about the subject, in an effort to tell some stories and elucidate some hidden histories from our lives – the time we spent in strange isolation from the world, in one of these very odd schools, with their very odd, and then often invasive and abusive, philosophies.

This blog up for you to say hi, drop me notes, post links, ask questions, or fill me in on what you’re reading and discovering about the schools.

I’ll be posting video clips as editing continues. The basic premise is as follows: Make this work available to a wide audience, the widest audience, but especially, to those who will want to know about these schools: that is, parents who are considering sending their child away; or, a young person, who is being sold on the idea of going.

Don’t be shy, or strangers. Do check in, do post relevant links, do be friendly, and not afraid of making your experience or opinions known about the bizarrery we call Cedu.

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About Liam Scheff

"Author, Artist, Film, Permaculture." Liam Scheff is a writer, artist and stand-up lecturer on issues that people usually don't make comic books about. (Visit liamscheff.com). Liam's highly-praised book "Official Stories" reveals the complex details behind the myths of our times.

Posted on May 22, 2008, in Surviving Cedu. Bookmark the permalink. 197 Comments.

  1. yup, i agree with henry. i was trying to think of a way to say what he said but he did it perfectly. “survived cedu”, come on. I have since served in Iraq and been through multiple scenarios that really needed surviving. we were stuck for a while, not on death row.

  2. I was tricked by my parents into visiting CEDU and left at the Running springs school. they cut off all of my hair strip searched me and took most of my clothing. I was alone and really unhappy. on day one i met a kid who was not allowed to talk to anyone i did however talk to him and he told me he had Escaped and got sick drinking the water in a stream he warned me not to drink the water. i also found out i knew a girl who went to elementary school with me. but she was not suppose to speak to me at all. I also started talking to a new kid named Danny Taylor. his big brother and i use to run around together in Hollywood. I knew strait off this was not an okay place and i decided i was going to bail asap. i told Danny i was planning an escape and he begged me to take him with me. i told him when i go he best be ready!
    the first night was really hard i cried most of the night. the next day i demanded to speak with my parents they tried to tell me NO but i made it clear if they did not i would go ballistic so they took me to the office and let me make a call home. By brother answered and said sorry mom and dad are in Vegas. i felt so Back Stabbed that i decided i was gone it was at that point i jumped out of the window of the lodge the admin ran to the window and i faked that i had hurt my leg. He said he was coming down to get me. the second his head left my sight i took off. it was just getting Dark . I ran down the road toward the main road, Danny saw me and started to follow but he could not keep up i suspect he got caught about 5 min into my Escape. I heard a car behind me a could see headlights so i dived into a ditch and hid till it passed as so as it was out of sight i started chasing the Car keeping just out of sight. they were yelling my name. the Car went past me about 4 times while i was making my way to the main road. i hid every time it passed. right before i got to the main i had to hide as a couple Sheriff cars turned up the road. i assume they called the cops.. I hit the main road and threw up a thumb and got a ride to Arrow head. nice guy took me all the way to arrowhead and even gave me a carton of smokes. in Arrowhead i saw a couple who appeared to be leaving so i asked if they could give me a ride down the hill. they said sorry we do not pick up hitch hikers. i said i understand i and i started running down the road about 3 miles down the hill the same couple passed me and pulled over. i guess they felt bad that i was stranded. they drove me down the mountain towards la. i told them the story they were shocked at how i described the place they drooped me off and gave me 20 bucks. and i the first bus i see is a RTD with Hollywood and highland on the front. 2 hours later i was home. stayed with friends for a while and Even lived in the Tiki room as waddles park for a spell. for years people thought i was making it up about this place. about how bad it was. i cant tell you how happy it makes me to have others back up what i have been saying about this place.

  3. Are you still working on a documentary? I have very much to add to it. I went to Boulder Creek Academy in North Idaho from 1993-1997.

  4. my name is liz, I was at cedu 1983-1986, im in the brochure , god I remember that week. and to find out well it was different but oh so the same…jill bentz I fucking hate you, yeah cedu taught me to swear the funny thing is I was there when she was just the art teacher…and then I went on my first outward bound (the only good thing I might add) and found out that teachers and heads were leaving….annnnd thats when people like rudy and jill bentz got promoted, but jill she had it in for me , I didnt conform to her desires, I was sexually proud and she punished me for that, putting me on bans , wich I like to add all the accusing me of having sex, ironic didnt lose my virginity till I was 23, but jill well she found out my father was an art dealer, ohhhhhhh did she kiss his ass, and made sure that a relationship with my mother, well my mother does not forgive me till this day…put on full time for refusing the word, as in the word of the heads…I am not going to say it was all bad, but as students I miss them, but jill I will never forgive you, never you were beyond malicious and cruel to no end…let me empahasize it is a shame for cedu was an insulated bubble, no drugs, no sex, safe for us that well were exposed, then you get out and your world comes right back family members are still drunks and drug addicted , mentally and physically abusive, where was my protection..cedu tried to convince you of safe magical kingdom, the truth is they never ever dealt with shall I coin there term ‘ what is real”…..oh there is much I saw there that was wrong, so wrong so cedu really you were no different then the outside world, you didnt teach us to speak up, and you were exactly what brought me there….cruelty, sexual abuse, and why didnt you ever , ever attack our parents to there faces…oh thats right they paid the bills….

    • Liz,

      I don’t know if you were a new student before or after I left about August or September of 1983.

      Jill Swaiko, she uses her maiden name for her gallery, is in Madrid, New Mexico with Rudy now. Her gallery name is Indigo Gallery. Rudy evidently still works with kids in Northern New Mexico.

      If I ever, ever, confronted you in a rap, I am truly sorry. It was my way of surviving the school. Most of these staff members can be Googled.

  5. Liam,

    wrote to you a while back. I was at Cedu from April of 1981 until 1983. After reading and watching the documentaries I pretty much went into a full questioning of the whole “experience”. I confronted Eric Melzer about the brainwashing and he pretty much justified it as “positive brainwashing” and told me that society brainwashes us from the time we are children. I haven’t talked to him for the last several years and probably won’t again.

    I have recently just started actually dealing with this in counseling. I am researching cults and just trying to remember and talk about this shit without my throat closing up or not being able to breath. When I can do that I will know that I have worked through it all.

    By all accounts, Cedu and the “schools” that were offshoots were Cults. Using the techniques that cults use to control, isolate and manipulate those who are under their influence. Using their own lingo or buzz words to make the followers or in this case students feel more special and a part of the system they are in. Further isolating them.

    I found a lot of people from Cedu on Facebook. One day I was looking at this whole group of Cedu people and I couldn’t breathe. The list included staff and graduates. I deleted all of them. I am friends with about 5 people who I consider actual friends. Some people don’t want to be found and I have to respect that.

    For the first time in 30 years I am dealing in depth with Cedu. My counselor looked up the school and when she read about all of it she said that she literally felt sick to her stomach about the “therapeutic” techniques that were used.

    What is really sad about this whole thing is that for the amount of time we all were in this environment it affected people so much that it overshadows and haunts people to this day. Your documentaries and the comments of graduates and those who were able to leave the program somehow helps me to remember things and my emotional response has surprised me.

  6. I remember vividly a moment at ascent. Before I was sent there I bucked the program at Cedu. I ran away (unsucessfully, fucking PI’s), refused to rip people apart in RAPs, and did whatever I could to escape Cedu. At ascent, we were all lined up and a woman walked by and picked me out. I’d never seen her before or since. She started to scream, curse, spit and go all drill instructor on me. You worthless piece of shit, your parents don’t love you. You fuck up. Yada, yada, yada. It got to me. Tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to be as stoic as i could. I took a step back when it became too much. She renewed her attack with more venom. I don’t remember everything she said, but it was clear that I wasn’t to move and if I took another step back I would be considered a runaway and would be forcibly restrained. Her attack continued and I finally took another step back. By this time two large men had flanked her and were supporting her assault. They grabbed my arms and were prepared to take me to the ground for my ‘offence’. Something went off inside. The injustice of everything that had transpired at cedu and ascent. The unfairness and cruelty. The fear. I refused to go down. Thirty seconds later, I was eating wood chips. I squirmed as the two men locked me in a five point restraint. I bucked like it was the ‘I want to live’. I squirmed and struggled for about a half an hour. I fought with everything I had. I was 16 years old, a thousand miles from my home, in a terrifying environment. Powerless and no one was coming to save me. I fought for soul and my sanity. I fought against everything I knew was wrong. I can’t fully articulate how important it was for me to resist. In the end, exhausted in every definition of the word, I went limp and flaccid. I gave up the fight after all my resources have been spent. Upon my return to Cedu, I started to follow the rules. I drank the cool aid and became a look good. I was a capo, a prisoner guard and became vicious and feral in Raps. Something snapped during that restraint and I cant help but feel like part of me never got up. a piece of me is still lying limp under two large men. Powerless and resigned.

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  8. I was at Cedu 1980 please email me
    thank you for this

  9. I applaud you for surviving; you did yourself well. Was the women you speak about Marci Padgett? I’ve had the unfortunate experience of seeing her craziness first hand this last year. I can only imagine how she might have been to unfortunate people in her control back then.

    • I was at Cedu when Marci Padgett showed up in the 70’s. I have a Yahoo Group that has a lot of discussion with Cedu survivors. It’s called ‘therapsheet’. Go to Yahoo Groups and check it out. I will approve your membership right away.

  10. I have bookmarked your site at Digg.com so my friends can see it too! We were discussing about this few months ago! You actually agreed with my point of view, so you must be right!

  11. I am horrified to discover this website having sent son over from Europe hoping he would be helped and in good hands out there.How can we repare such a thing years after?

  12. To Whom It May Concern:
    I went to Accent and Hilltop and am just trying to find other people who went their? Please e-mail me….will the documentary every be completed? I think it is a very good thing to share the truth.

    Respectfully yours, Pablo

  13. I was at cedu running springs for 2 days in July of 1982. When I arrived I was quickly schooled in by others as to what was to come. A young girl my age about 15 or 16 talked with me the most the first day then explained to me she had to be careful otherwise we’d be put on “bans”. I didn’t really understand . On the second day I went to my first and only “rap”. I was shocked, all the yelling and screaming then all of a sudden, about 3 people started yelling at me screaming at the top of their lungs what a piece of shit I was. I didn’t get it, they didn’t even know me. After the rap I was told I would have to clean the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and went inside. I peired inside the first stall and saw that someone had defecated all over the floor so I walked out and told whoever was there that I wasn’t going to do it. Then I went to a room I believe was called Camelot and sat down to think. I sat there for maybe 15 min then decided to go. I walked out to the road not knowing which way to go I started to walk it seemed like the road was going up so I turned around. Within 5 min a car came and I stuck out my thumb. An old man picked me up and took me off the mountain. I walked aways and made it to a Denny’s by the freeway. I called my mom and told her where I was she told me to march right back up that mountain and hung up. I began to cry a waitress heard me crying and asked me what was wrong I told her I had know way home to L.A. She asked me if I was hungry I said yes and she fed me then took me to the bus station and bought me a ticket to L.A. I thanked her and she told me to do the same for someone else someday. That is my cedu story after that I was sent to Provo canyon school which was like a prison for 11 months. But …. That was ok with me I’d rather be locked up and keep my mind. I consider my decision to run from cedu one of the best I’ve made in my life. Thank you so much Liam for your documentary

  14. I went to New Leaf Academy in Bend Oregon from 05-08. Marci Padgett was a big part of my life then and I managed to get let go or sent home from the program I was suppose to have “conference” calls once a week but never called her once I came home. I disagreed with a lot of methods they used and she was always a very sketchy person to me. Some of the girls said she was involved in other programs that were shut down for “brainwashing” and I wouldn’t doubt it for a second. I knew from day one the ETC therapy girls were receiving was wrong. Anyways! I’m a college student now handling this world just fine, I’m doing a research paper and just wanted to know if anyone knows this woman and if she did brainwash or where I can find any information on her. Thank you!

  15. I was at Cedu in the late 80’s I ran away and convinced my parents to send me to a regular boarding school in Tahoe. My time at Cedu and the way I was dumped has always been something that I can’t forget. It is nice to see and hear other peoples experiences which validate my own.

  16. Jenny Skilling

    I was at cedu in the late 80’s after awhile I realized my only hope was to run away. My parents claimed we were looking at a school and if I didn’t like it I didn’t have to go. Instead they drove off leaving me crying and chasing their car. I was strip searched and told I could talk to my parents once a month “monitored” all I could say was I was not happy there. Raps were insane and anti-therapeutic. I ran away and the police officer that arrested me sent me to juvenile hall instead of taking me back. It was heaven in comparison. To this day my experiences there seem like yesterday.

  17. Hi,

    I went to Amity in Italy. I helped organize the closure, through a series of student actions and working with a lawyer in the states. I was the last student there. From there I went to RMA, until I was kicked out three days later. I have strong feelings about all of it.

    I’m wondering if you can help me contact any other Amity students, or resources…

    Thanks so much, I look forward to hearing from you.

  18. I was a student at cascade school in the mid 80’s. I had run away from this program twice during my time there.the second time I spilt, my parents finally agreed to let me come home.

    My parents sent me to the cascade school because I was a runaway often. What they failed to take the time to figure out was that , I wasn’t running from rules, or them.. I was running away from a mentally ill brother who had been molesting me since I was very young.

    I can remember feeling violated again, day one at the cascade school during the strip search. I knew in my heart that I was in the wrong place. I needed therapy not this type of program. The longer I stayed it became more apparent to me that these students were being brainwashed to a certain degree .

    The first time I split from this school, I made it all the way to San Francisco. Determined to hitch hike all the way back to sc…my parents put out an apb on me, and I was caught. I pleaded with my parents to to send me back, but of course they thought it was the best place forme at the time.

    After I left a second time, I had buried all the memories from the cascade school and my molestation . I thought I was fine… My brother , passed away at the age of 28 from a massive heart attack. It was at this time I finally felt safe.. I got married, had a family and a normal life..

    Recently in the past few months my mother moved I to a retirement community called The Cascades, and it was during this time, when I was moving her Into this place, she decided to clear her conscious and let me know that she was aware my brother was molesting me but didn’t offer me the correct kind of treatment. She was letting go of her own guilt I suspect.

    It this time, I began having nightmares of what my brother did, the times I ran from him and where my running landed me. I began remembering details of the workshops, the students and my horrific experiences with this program.

    I decided to reach out for help, because the anxiety, sleepless nights and reoccurring nightmares were damaging my every day life. My new physiologist told me today about how these programs were shut down. He knew all about cascade , cedu and the practices that went on at this school.

    Dr. J firmly believes I am now suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and I hope in time I can regain my own strength to function again in a normal capacity.

    I know therapy may take some time, but I was relieved to know that I didn’t have to explain this program to dr. J at all… His knowledge of these programs will help me move forward so that I can find peace once again…

  19. I was at the CA place. Cascade I think it was called. That place was nuts man. My folks tricked me into “checking it out”. I don’t remember much about it (I was only there for like two LONG months before I bailed.) except that it was a bad experience.

    I remember watching football on a big screen. And one of the staff claimed to be the inspiration for Dennis the Menace.

    Anyways, I got sick of all the BS. One evening I just chucked all my stuff into the big white laundry bag and slipped under a fence and away down the mountain. I was 16 and that was one of the scariest things I’d ever done. As I trekked down the road I could hear their cars coming up and down the road looking for me with flashlights. I hid in the bushes til they passed. I walked all night and slept in some bushes. Finally morning came and I hitched a ride to Redding.

    Luckily I knew some people in Mt.Shasta who had people in Redding who helped me out. I truly hated that place and I’m ashamed to say it but if I ever recognized any of the staff on the street I’d be tempted to punch their lights out. After I told them “HAHAHA I escaped from you you sadistic Motherfuckers!!!”

  20. I think I was there around 1989

  21. I was there when CEDU in Running Springs closed.
    Currently being treated for PTSD.
    Nightmares and trauma.
    Please contact me.
    I just need to know other people are out there.

  22. Elizabeth Howard

    Hi Kelly,

    I remember you!!! I was your dormhead and you used to read all four of us a chapter form this crazy novel called “a sign of the eighties.” After lights out!

    My parents pulled me out about two weeks before the shut down. There are so many things that are a complete blur about that time in my life and others that are so visceral, as if it was only yesterday. I was very, very negatively affected by my experiences there. John and Marci really screwed with my head. They used to have me over to their house, once they moved off campus, it was so wierd. I wish I could have been one of the strong ones like you. Marci used to say the most messed up crap to me.

    I think the most damaging thing about that place is that it makes it so difficult to relate to normal people afterward. Anyway you rock, I don’t have much insight into the closure, but am so interested to find out that there was a lawyer involved. I would love to hear things from your perspective.

    About resources…there is a Facebook group, I know that Lisa and Amy are on it. Also there is an amazing book on amazon called the Discarded Ones. I have several books on synanon as well, they are mostly out of print, but I can give you the names or lend them out. The whole synanon thing is pure crazy, holy hell!!

    AND now that CEDU is defunct, it was purchased by a group called Aspen Education, which is backed by none other than Mitt Romney’ s group Baine Capital. I could go on…but I’m typing on an Ipad…

    Feel free to contact me about the books, you can email me at Elizabeth.brashars@yahoo.

  23. I was at cedu from,1979 thru late 1981.My name is Steve Neidhardt.We had only 3 families then,Genisis,Quest and Summit.To this day I still have very strong feelings about some of the things I was asked to do and forced to experience.I think I hold the record on “full times”? I have dreams about cedu and my piers all the time and in a strange way miss the closeness I felt to them.On the other hand I absolutely dreaded raps and prophets.I grew up by the beach in S.Cal. and surfing and skateboarding were my life.I came in with hair to my mid-back and wore only surf clothes.My first shocker was LYNN and her buzzer,she took all my hair off with a bit to much joy?to be cont…

  24. I went to RMA in North Idaho in january 1997 and I really want to buy RMA and BCA from Brown. I wounder if it is for sale. I will have to check. I can feed 190 homeless people from all over the inland empire with my cooks and advertisements. I can even stay in the haunted Mirkwood or the alien bread box. There are some old story’s that might just be true about the haunting’s there from suicides. I want to get all of the alumni and non graduates together and have an occasion. 5 years out or less and I can defiantly afford it and several other things. I am famous and so was my grandfather. I am the only Wigren grandson. My grandfather owned Far Best Eggs in WA. We sold n 1988 to National Food Corp. I have some things on the burner and it looks like over 120 million net for me all at once. I am a millionaire right now. I have been since I was 17. I was fabled to be the second in all of the history of RMA since the 60’s to escape and get away clean and win freedom. Ahh my memory’s are now fond of RMA.

  25. Hi,

    I am still looking through the whole website, so my apologies for not yet reading anyone’s stories and testimonies. I am from the U.K., I was cornered when I came to America for my cousin’s wedding and shipped off to Idaho with two men my parents hired to take me away to Ascent. I had no idea what was happening and I was completely enraged as the law in the U.K. states that I am an adult at 16yrs old, which I was.

    After what seemed like an eternity at Ascent, they mixed up my praise letter from my parents with the letter telling me I was then going to go to NWA and I had no say in the matter.

    For years and years I have been told that me going there saved my life, after going to 12 step rehabs who confirmed that train of thought, telling me as dogmatically as CEDU did about how this is all helping/saving ME…
    After spending some time in a trauma clinic for other issues I am very SLOWLY starting to realise that this all was not O.K. None of the abuse from childhood and certainly none of the guilt I was meant to feel because I acted out as a teenager because I had nowhere or no one to turn to..

    I am very emotional right now after FINALLY thinking about researching CEDU, I don’t even know why to this day I haven’t followed this up but I couldn’t be happier to have found this site and to hear others talk about their experiences because in the U.K. people have no idea what I’m talking about, since CEDU does not exist here so it feels like a pointless task to explain it all. Especially when in the past it has merely been brushed off as it all being my fault for being a bad kid…

    Hearing words like propheets and raps and talking bans… is really bringing up a lot right now, I have COMPLETELY forgotten all those things, my mind has chosen to forget so much of this and to only focus on the amazing people I got to meet there. I was in contact with some of the “students” in the phoenix team but if there is anyone here from either phoenix team from north west academy or anyone you was there in 2003 I think it would be nice to talk to you.

    Thank you for creating this website and thanks everyone for sharing your experiences it has already helped me.
    I hope to see this site grow so we can all come together and really grieve for our loss.
    All the best to you all.
    Meroujan

  26. I went to Cedu in Running Springs from 2002-2004. I graduated. While Cedu wanted to focus on all the bad things that happened to us growing up and all the bad things we had done, they didn’t seem to care too much about what happened during our stay there. I was molested in my bed by a girl who was supposed to be my dormhead. Although I was unsure who it was until she confessed it during her Summit. She was never even told to apologize to me and actually sat across from me in raps telling me I was lying. I had indirectly accused a staff member as I had heard our door open and her walk in but hadn’t heard her leave, and I was told that I was lying and was stupid and treated so poorly by everyone including the dormhead who molested me. This program, while it had some positives (very few), still affects everything I do. I confront all problems even 10 years later with the mentality of I’m in raps no matter how much I try to change it. My own parents are not pleased with how I deal with problems or with me “yelling” like Cedu taught me to do. Every day I struggle with the fact that half my graduating class is already dead, with thoughts of my friends from Cedu that have chosen to disappear off the map, of the students who ran away and disappeared during my stay, of never wanting the same thing for my child. Although some of the “tools” Cedu drilled into our heads were good, I think the abuse and the anger outweighes it. I hope no parent ever sends their child to a school like that. The truth shall set you free…great tool, if only Cedu and the Brown Schools could have lived by that themselves.

  27. It seems that I’m probably one of the oldest survivors as nobody else talks about the 70’s but I was there in the fall of 1976, and can’t believe it took me all these years to look it up. The memories come screaming back and it’s amazing to read and hear stories of others who’s experiences were so similar to mine unfortunately. All of these years, I thought, it must’ve only been like that for me, although obviously I saw and share the horror with so many others. I now realize how lucky I was to have a brave young man help me navigate the forest and escape, and that the kindness of strangers got us back to civilization. The trauma though, of my short time there has haunted me my entire life, and I understand now, finally, the depth of the terrors that happened there, and cannot believe that it continued for so many years after. I was essentially kidnapped as others have described, in the wee hours of the morning, had my hair cut off and all of my personal possessions taken and all of the other atrocities that have been spoken about, and the horrific raps, isolation from family, and the rest. I knew at the time that something was very, very wrong, and for a child to realize that their parent(s) have sentenced them to this horror, was beyond belief. I knew though that staff kept the real goings on from the parents at every turn, it was unimaginable, and though I’d never really thought about it in the correct terms, it was definitely a cult in every way except most of the kids wanted only to escape. I think that the threat of true imprisonment is probably the only thing that kept many of them there. I’m glad that we live in a time now, where information can be shared, and survivors can gain healing from understanding and shared experiences.

    • I was there dec.77/april 78,did you know john and marcy?
      Ron .

      • I can’t remember to be honest, but it was November in 1976. It was horrific. It’s helpful to hear of others experiences and I cannot believe it persisted for so long.

  28. John Padgett abused me and two other girls that I know about. He said to me if I told, he would shoot my knees out with his gun. When I read Sean Wisley’s memoir and learned that he was dead, I finally felt safe. I am still today being treated for PTSD because of the abuse he and his wife Marcy heaped on me. That man fondeled me for two years after “raps” three times a week. I wanted to bring charges as a sophomore in college, but Michael Allgood told me that they would fight me and that I had no chance of any recompense,. Allgood made it very clear to me that in court, CEDU would paint me a a misguided and troubled slut who had a “crush” on an older man that was unrequited. I was still so young (19) and was scared enough to believe him.

  29. I was there a short 9 months my adopted mother states… Fact is I ran away twice once threw the woods I was so turned around I started to walk back the jogging road, a nice teacher in a jeep talked me back up the hill… After that the utterly alone feelings settled in as I did all the belittling chores they could place soon my wakeing hours… On my 17 birthday I looked up and asked for a sign and a ring around the moon is all I needed , placeing my clothes in the upstairs cabinets and with my work clothes on I walked into the darkness again to save my self…. I will never be the same person that I was on my first naive days on that hill… I thank anyone that was kind to me I so needed a friend…. And my dirt list was nothing compared to what I had to endure as I walked into the world alone and on the run…. Never send a kid there , just show them every day you love them Please….. Funny thing is I am in my boyfriends rv and in big bear now… Who knew it’s a sky resort…. Well I guess it grew as I did… Call out to all that were kind I am over here

  30. it ruined by husbands life for a period of at least 33 years. He was shuffled from psychiatrist to psychiatrist and from rehab to rehab and became a drug addict and abuser and only now I’m I starting to realize that he has all of the symptoms of PTSD. It was never diagnosed before leading him and others to think that he was just an evil person. Many of the problems have now become a part of his character because it was never resolved finding this helps

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