Cedu Documentary Clip 13 – The Summit

Cedu Documentary – Staff and Students discuss the final emotional growth experience at the Cedu School, provided only to students who survived (or were trapped) for two years or more in the program. Take a walk on the wild side, why don’t you?


About Liam Scheff

"Author, Artist, Film, Permaculture." Liam Scheff is a writer, artist and stand-up lecturer on issues that people usually don't make comic books about. (Visit liamscheff.com). Liam's highly-praised book "Official Stories" reveals the complex details behind the myths of our times.

Posted on November 16, 2009, in Surviving Cedu. Bookmark the permalink. 31 Comments.

  1. Liam keep up the good work in investigating the Cedu horrors and I am glad to hear that the Cedu clone school Mt. Bachelor Academy was closed. I even asked them to call me over the internet and sure enough they did. d I said to them I am glad that they were shut down and they were shocked to hear that as they thought I was a parent calling to see if my child needed to have an assessment done to see if he was a fit for the school. I would never send a child of mine to schools like that.

  2. The brilliant thing about the summit was that its presence within the program was a blatant admission our experience was not the product of Mel’s vision, but rather, something that was culled from the outside. Yet despite all of this, for the most part, it fit in perfectly with the rest of what we were going through. Therefore, it is no surprise when those of us discover later that the other methods and dogma we experienced at CEDU was also drawn from preexisting ideologies.

    The fact that it was considered to be the ultimate of what we were to learn, yet its roots in lifespring were mentioned without hesitation by all of the staff, theoretically brought together the “inside” and “outside” world, and effectively tied together our experience to the point that we felt prepared for our time after graduation. (In fact, many who went through the summit experienced the phenomenon of impatience at our upcoming graduation.) Were we to experience any cognitive dissonance after graduation, we were encouraged to rely on the “tools” we had learned in the summit.

    However, many who “graduate” from lifespring do indeed experience this same contradiction, and many, as a result, return to lifespring to work in recruiting.

    Therefore, it was a stroke of brilliance on Mel’s part that there would be some degree of transparency regarding the Summit’s origins.

  3. I remember the part about going in to a city– we went to Spokane– and trying to buy someone food, trying to talk to complete strangers… I remember the food part was doing a “good deed”. It was these exercises, the city, the lifeboats, the slapping your partner, that really opened my eyes to how insane the program was and how they really had no concept of boundaries. That teens would be required to go up to complete strangers, in an unfamiliar city, totally on their own with nobody they knew anywhere around after being cooped up at RMA for two years was hard enough– I remember being and feeling completely lost– but to then have them attempt to buy people things, get their addresses? This was indeed a recipe for disaster. I too am surprised no student was ever kidnapped or met with violence. A totally inappropriate exercise that cannot in any way be argued as being any form of legitimate therapy.

    Then there was the lifeboats. I agree with Nicki Bush that there was emotional trauma long after the event. I recently explained to a girl from my peer group why I gave her a lifeboat 24 years ago. And I blocked out who I gave the other two boats too. Hours and hours of listening to this horror story, the build up, the emotion, and then as I remember it, we all are told at the end, hahahaha, you all died anyway! Nobody survived. Which honestly… that took the entire experience away from me. I felt betrayed, but also the coldly logical side of me took over and I realized–possibly for the first time– that the staff were truly sadistic.

    And then the slapping your partner. I remember being thoroughly exhausted, as you tended to be during all of these sleep deprivation sessions. People were sort of swaying as they stood there, blinking their eyes hard to try and stay awake and keep their minds clear, and listening to the directions about how we’re going to be hitting (In ours I don’t remember it being slap, but hit, closed fist.) our partner with everything we had. And there was this huge buildup. People were asking questions, which if you were in the Summit, you know that the beginning was all about making sure everyone knew the agreements, which included no questioning of anything. And how one of the Three Big Agreements was no violence. So kids were asking how we could be asked to hit someone, and they were saying how this was a special situations, that there would be no full-times or any punishments. Lot’s of buildup to make you sincerely believe you were actually going to hitting someone. And usually a friend. And then as part of the buildup they would stop and decide suddenly to change who was going to be hitting first, so that the other person could experience the horror of wondering if they were going to be hitting someone or getting hit. And keep in mind, many students had issues related to physical abuse growing up. But all I remember was being exhausted and not hearing them say “Now hug your partner!” In my exhaustion I heard “hit” not “hug.” This exercise was just more pure sadism.

    I never saw the point of any of these exercises. Of all the propheets and workshops, this is the one that I think woke me up to what was going on up there and how sadistic and untrained these people were. There seemed no valid point to it all. No therapeutic value of any kind. And this was the end of the program, not the beginning or middle, so these are the final “deep, meaningful experiences” you are expected to take from this program. And they amounted to nothing. Which I find revealing. It was all nothing of value from start to finish, but it took going through The Summit for me to fully see that.

  4. lol… Jake’s urban challenge story is full of major WIN.

    That’s the best story I ever heard about the UC. Upthumb!

  5. Liam, I can’t express enough gratitude for all your hard work documenting what it was like to be at Cedu. I also greatly appreciate the film participants as well as others here and on fornits willing to speak and write so openly about their experiences. Given the gravity of psychological harm inflicted, and since so many schools still use similar tactics; it really is imperative that the issue be given greater attention among the educational and psychiatric communities as well as among the general public and potential clients of these places.

    In my case I believe the sleep deprivation and psychological stress of the lifeboat/funeral exercise in particular caused me to completely shut down for a time. No lie. Laying there on the floor in my “grave” I simply shut down and “disappeared”. Unlike some of the more savvy and street smart people there who were capable of seeing through the exercises, I internalized my experiences. The message I got was that who I was as a human being was sub standard, bad and not worthy of life. And to think that I had to participate in giving so many of my friends the same message is frankly unforgivable.

    How anyone could defend Cedu’s exercises/workshops as therapeutic boggles the mind. Anyway, I have a request. I’d be really grateful for any memories/details about the costume party that anyone may be willing to share. It would be really helpful in jogging the memory for my next counseling session. Although I’d much rather forget! I was assigned Miss America…ahhh good times.

  6. I was Pinocchio… I remember the whole thing. It was terribly humiliating. I remember them yelling at me and making me dance to that damn stupid song. They made me tie strings to all my joints, and dance a round like a puppet while all my supposed peers where there telling me what a piece of shit I was, that i couldn’t figure out what to fucking do. I finally just gave up and said fuck it, and tore all the shit off me and was going to leave the whole damn thing. Then my counselor gets up and is all ” that’s right Brian, break free of the things that tie you down” I was completely baffled…. I just felt like i was being fucked with the whole time I was there. Like we where there for the amusement of the counselors. I still hear songs from propheets in shops and in elevators and it makes me cringe of the stuff they made us do to one another. What we went through is unforgivable.

  7. If anyone needs an intervention, it’s the lousy dim witted Dr. Frankensteins’ who dreamed up this nonsense.

  8. Kathy Ryan-Hancock

    Hello Liam,

    I am impressed with the documentary you have created here. It’s been many years since I graduated Cedu back in 1986, there are a few holes in my memory, especially regarding The Summit workshop. It was the one workshop I fainted in during the Live/Die exercise. Perhaps it is a way of coping, I am not sure, my feelings are pretty mixed about the whole thing. The Summit left me feeling rather lost afterwards and with no closure.

    When I did the Urban Challenge I do recall the little old man I was trying to talk to asked me if I was a hooker. That blew me away after two years of doing nothing but dealing with these “sexual issues” I think many of the girls at Cedu were forced to deal with. Whether they had them or not. If this workshop was meant to be some sort of transition back to the real world, I must have missed something for I felt pretty alone after graduation.

    My husband was horrified to watch this documentary, became outraged to the point of storming from the room. He cannot understand how we survive and for many years I believed that I took what worked and left the rest. Seeing this makes me question much of what I held on to. People I trusted only to find out they committed terrible crimes.

    I was one of those that refused to participate in slapping my friend. I thought the lifeboat exercise was horrifying. It gives me a bit of closure not only to hear from those that have been through it as well, but a real professional too.

    The one thing I did take away from The Summit was two words that have served me well. “Handle It.”

    Thank you for producing this, I know a few from my peer group have watched it and some of us have discussed it. Will you be adding more?


  9. Hi Kathy,

    Thank you for the great post. I appreciate hearing from you, and from the 84 to 86 era. Fairly early into the establishment of the ‘high school.’

    I appreciate your husband’s rage in hearing these bizarre, abusive stories. That’s a healthy response – one we were somehow prevented, at the time. I suppose we were made to channel it, into those hours screaming at the floor…

    Yes, more will be added, though filming is completed.

    One thing, I have a different take on ‘handle it,’ that I hope you don’t mind me sharing.

    “Handle it” was how they, the staff, ended the program. That was our instruction in “the Summit.” Any problem, any concern, whatever it was, however petty or deep, from ‘breaking bans’ to intrusive memories of child abuse, to those suffering their addict’s nature and fear and desire to use drugs again – after all of those promises, and hours screaming, and so-called inner-child work, it all ended up with those two words: “Handle it.”

    That very concept that they’d robbed us of every day for our entire stay! The irony was not lost on me.

    Wouldn’t it have been nice if they had given us permission to think for ourselves for the first 2.5 years? When I arrived, I was plenty used to taking care of many of my own needs. But upon arrival, they quickly made sure that we couldn’t make a move, walk 20 steps, without permission…

    After those days and weeks and months and years of taking a beating for every and anything we every thought or did that was somehow unapproved, the total lesson plan for all of us was “screw it kid, you’re on your own!’ (“Handle it!” Don’t bother us anymore! Forget all those ‘life-changing’ experiences and ‘important’ agreements!)

    You know, that’s when I knew that every staff person there was a bloody phony (and we were phonies for going along with it). I mean, I think I must have held out some modest, waning hope, even through that last experience, that maybe those assholes had something to offer….

    Hard to admit, that.

  10. Kathy Ryan-Hancock

    Liam, frankly I was left feeling disappointed after the Summit experience and yes “Handle It” was rather crude but I grabbed it kinda like one grabs a piece of driftwood in the middle of the ocean after your ship has sunk.
    After the I and Me, which was a very powerful and profound experience for me being a survivor of traumatic sexual abuse since infancy, I to this day could never really place the two workshops together like I could the previous ones. I remember asking for help after the Summit, my peers were just as bewildered as I was and so were the staff that I trusted. Perhaps there is no closure.
    It would have been nice to have been allowed a bit more responsibility to make basic decisions in the years prior to the Summit. I agree. We were not five year olds and I think earned a few more brownie points then what was given.
    I fell on my ass alot after graduation. I did lots of drugs and floundered. I went into therapy on my dime not to get much help. I could out therapy the therapists on my 20 buck sliding scale. After 6 years of this I had been taught well.
    I think dance again saved me, and that was something, well the one thing I fought really hard to do at Cedu. I was stripped of everything, my hair was cut, my mother basically gave me to the state so I did not do more than 2 home visits, no friends, no family, no music, nothing familiar save the ballet. And then to be told I was not good enough to do that. Ha! Well I did fight for that and I did win that small battle. But that kept me alive. It meant everything to me to organize the trips to see theater away from Cedu so that others could enjoy something away from the smushing and constant “therapy.” My husband brought up a good point and I so cherish his outsider view. “Did you really survive it?” I had to be honest and say well I think I still feel things far too deeply. Was I a phony? I did not mean to be but I was pretty “programmed” by the time I got out, I learned how to survive there, and I am always going to have a sense of guilt about certain raps, people I perhaps yelled at to keep the attention off myself. I danced in that little studio alone a good deal of the time towards the end, perhaps that was a good thing. When I was offered to stay on and potentially become a staff member I turned it down and that destroyed a friendship or two with very prominent staff there. I had been in the system for 6 years. lol I wanted to live too.
    It means much to hear your thoughts for I felt pretty alone in my feelings after the Summit, handle it yeah, it took on a different meaning after Cedu. I look forward to your next clips.


  11. The day I graduated, I came down from the stage, my parents asked if they could talk to me briefly and we walked in to the main house and sat down at a booth in the dining room and they said, “You’re not coming home.” Reason? The school never told them I improved. The school never suggested I could succeed in life. The updates my parents got for two years was that I needed more help. My parents were always in it for the High School diploma, such as we were given.

    Not only was I told I was not coming home, I was also told I was not welcome home because they still felt, based on what the school had told them for two years, that I was a horrible person. Made sense. For two years they had told me I was a horrible person too.

    The phrase, “You’re on your own kid!” was all I got for two years of hell. No, they didn’t have anything to offer. I ended where I began, minus two years of my life.

  12. Kathy Ryan-Hancock

    Dear Bill,
    I am not sure how many come here to talk about our experiences, I know for me it has taken some time to do so.
    If nothing else my heart goes out to you.
    It was not two years for naught. If nothing else you learned to develop a thicker skin, a few handy skills that might warrant basic employment, I hope to think a glimpse into who you are and maybe an even bigger glimpse into what people can become; good or bad.
    The fact that you did graduate is a big deal.
    If I have learned anything after my mother sold me to the State at 12 it is this. Family is what you make it. Blood may be thicker than water, but in a way we all shared a bit of blood smashing those pillows to hell. =)


  13. Johnny Propheet


    That is a horrible story and yet so believable to me that they would do that. They were always pulling that stuff with me. I never had privileges, never got to hold any position of leadership, dropped a peer group, (because i wasn’t “getting it”) blah blah blah. When in fact I just wasn’t conforming to their bullshit. Nonetheless, they broke me.

    A lot of my family have told me that I was drastically different when I came out of Cedu. Confident when I went in, broken when I came out.

    When did you go there? what did you do?

  14. Hey Johnny Propheet, and Kathy,

    I went to RMA in 1984, graduated in 1986. I was sent there for missing homework assignments. My parents just didn’t get it. The same year my parents held me back in the 7th grade (Which they love to tell people was my failing the 7th grade), they sent me to Stanford University to get tested and my IQ was 160+. But all they saw was still missing homework assignments. My friends were all nerd, though I was a nerd and a jock. Never did drugs, nor did any of my friends. I never drank, didn’t smoke, didn’t party. I was actually a pretty damn good kid. Just bored to tears because teachers had told my parents for years I should be bumped up four to six years ahead, and my parents didn’t want me to grow up around kids older than myself. So I wallowed in what were essentially just very basic courses and got so bored anything other than school seemed more interesting. But the kicker is, I never missed so many assignments it had an affect on my grades. But my parents consider five or ten times to be two or three hundred times. They blow everything out of proportion. I was yelled at and hit pretty regularly for about seven years, never fighting back once. And then I wound up in Idaho.

    And it took six months for them to realize I had never really done anything. For six months they were accusing me of drug use, alcohol use, everything they could think of and none of it stuck because none of it was true. So they decided I was “angry.” Angry for being sent up there, angry that my parents divorced when I was seven and angry because I was placed up for adoption at birth. I will credit them for the first one. I was angry for being sent away. Angry for not being allowed to communicate with my siblings for two years, which ended up making sure I wouldn’t have a relationship with them for the last twenty five years.

    RMA never told them I improved. And to this day they believe I failed RMA. And I don’t mean the program. My parents never cared about that. They actually believe that what passed for classes there, I had actually failed. Why, you might ask?

    RMA sent them another students transcripts which had bad grades. And, they only sent them my 800 Verbal score from my SAT’s. And when I later pointed out that the transcripts were clearly not mine, and asked for the other half of my SAT’s, their response was… They might not be yours, but without proof you did any better, we can assume you failed. And even though these are only half your SAT scores, we can assume you didn’t do well at the Math portion. (Mom was a math teacher, father an Engineer.) And they are right. My Math score was 790.

    So that’s how I went to RMA and how I left RMA.

  15. Sorry to hear all of this Bill. I hope you have found peace with all of this.

    Whether it’s right or wrong, I have NEVER forgiven my father for sending me to this $hit hole. He broke into my trust fund, stole all my college money to pay for Cedu.

    So I paid to be fu$ked with and continue to pay on my college loans…

    I am in Liams clips on here. That is how I came to peace with some of this.

  16. A celebrity? Right on! These videos are so important I think in allowing survivors to come to terms with what they went through, and for parents to see and learn as well. Thanks for participating in the documentary.

    I have thought long and hard about my experiences and I have decided that although my parents hold some blame, overall the programs lied to them, lied to us, they were the ones who abused us so I think they shoulder more of the blame. Hating my parents has no payoff. Closing down these kinds of programs and educating people on what goes on in them is my the payoff for me.

    My relationship with my family never fully recovered from twenty five years ago. It is still strained today, though I have made a lot of progress recently. I not attend family functions like birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and for the most part they are pleasant. For years I wouldn’t attend.

    I think two things helped. This documentary and the problems that happened when I found my birth family. My adopted family contacted them and told them all sorts of horror stories about me from when I was a teen, not giving me any real credit for my life as an adult. And the horror was all about missed homework assignments, which ultimately my birth family came to realize, noting that nothing really horrible was really said about me. And I have always felt that this same thing happened in 1984 when they sent me to RMA. Feeling they had to tell a horrible story to get people to see me as damaged and in need of repair, and RMA was more than willing to go along, even blowing things more out of proportion to make me look even worse. And then not telling my parents that I had really improved, thus setting the stage for twenty five years of animosity as I tried to prove I was fine, and they decided I couldn’t possibly be because RMA never said I was.

    I truly believe RMA/CEDU had a vested interest in making us look bad to our parents in order to justify why they needed to pay for two or more years of “therapy” that in the real world might have taken six months and a fraction of the money with a real therapist. I don’t know how many students graduated with their parents still believing their teen was still broken and not really ready. How many students came home to find their parents didn’t believe they had changed? Didn’t believe in them?

  17. Therapy (in Greek: ????????), or treatment, is the attempted remediation of a health problem, usually following a diagnosis. In the medical field, it is synonymous with the word “treatment”.
    A supportive therapy is one that does not treat or improve the underlying condition, but instead increases the patient’s comfort.[1] Supportive treatment may be palliative care.


    Not usually following a diagnosis as it turns out (not recommending more diagnosis by the way) Can I just say that: There is absolutely no increase in the patience comfort here or otherwise in most cases. The whole motivation of “Therapy” is to fulfill the assailants need to further there financial addiction thus contradicting there supposed purpose. The result of this is a situation where the doctor is expressing his/her own inner conflict.

    Does this sound like a lot of B.S. to you.
    Of course it does because it is.
    Can I have my check now without actual contribution to society please (Thank You)

  18. Just thinking back to my 1st day at CEDU. I didn’t know exactly what to expect while walking up the stairs to the new wing. Those of you that were at CEDU during the 90’s should remember the new wing. Anyhow, I get to the top of the stairs of course being escorted by I think 3 people. Then it was off to the bathroom to be fully strip searched! WTF?? We all might as well have been being booked in at county jail. Look, if you are an adult or even a juvenile and you break the law and end up incarcerated and strip searched, well then tough shit I guess. However to be strip searching young children, I know for me I was literally 1 month into age 15 upon arriving at CEDU, is absolutely indicative of a major personal violation of one’s rights to be occuring at a boarding school.
    None the less, I complied with there crap and spread the cheeks and coughed and the whole 9 yards. Yeah like I have an AK-47 lodged up the heiney… I know some of those sick twits must of gotten their jollies performing the strip searches.

    As far as the “definition” of CEDU, I was always told that it meant “See yourself as you are, and do something about it.” I would imagine that there are quite a few different meanings though.

    To Bill, that really sucks man that your parents did all that to you. I really feel for you. I did not graduate from CEDU rather I was kicked out just shy of 2.5 years and went to RMA for 10 weeks before being released. Point being I cannot imagine having graduated and still have my parents “see no change” etc.. That is just horrible. It takes a really strong person to see past something like that and it seems as if you are now able to do so. I still do not forgive my folks for sending me away. Sometimes I tell myself I should and to get over it etc.. Just cannot seem to get over it. If CEDU had been a couple of weeks or maybe 2-3 months or something like that, the yes maybe I could forgive and forget. But the fact that I suffered through so much junk for almost 3 years, I do not think I will ever forgive. Especially my old man! When they would visit the few time s that they did at least my mother would try and get involved with what I was doing at CEDU “Parent Weekend Workshops” I beleive it was called. All the while my pops is doing laps around Lake Arrowhead slinging back beers. I have some choice words for you right now old man…

    Please pardon my numerous run on sentences.

    Well, sigining off for today. God bless you all…

    Ian Z.
    CEDU (02-92- 04-94)
    RMA (04-94- 06-94)

  19. Ian,
    You where processed as a product through a system that values the immediate reward of a pay check above the very life of a fellow citizen. This has been happening more or less as long as people have been unfortunate enough to be exposed to the raping of Democracy in America via “Capitalism”. It is truly unfortunate that these people managed to market parenting to your parents. I recommend not hating your family on account of all of this because they are victims of a cruel and unusual system that masterbates to numbers and other irrelevant vices to further there own selfish, glutinous means.

  20. I may have gone a little of topic there. sorry

  21. I was at cedu in 97-98. Have you looked into NWA? A lot of bad things happened there. It was an extended form of base camp that ended in a riot. I called accent a couple months ago when I found on the web that it was still open and the person on the other line told me that it never happened. I also heard from some friends after I left that when one of the girls turned 18 her and a male counselor came forward about an affair they were having and left the program together. I understand that your documentary is about a specific group of people in a specific time, but sum really bad things happened. I once watched two “councilors” hold down a 16 year old kid and break his arm. They said it was an accident while applying a clinical hold, but that was not what it looked like.

  22. LMAO:> at Jake. These were the same things as in the Possibilities Unlimited program, almost to the letter. I never got off 1st phase though because I would not participate. I wonder if they got kids who were good at “gaming” to travel from program to program?

  23. One thing I still wonder, 20 years latter, was going to the mall supposed to teach us how to deal with life outside of the school? I had about 12 days at home before graduating. I was allowed to see one friend one time. I am still perplexed as to how this was to apply to the rest of my life.

    Not everything from the experience of the school was bad. It did help me climb out of some low spots latter in life and kept me from going down some dangerous paths. It’s just the nightmares several times a month of being sent back or still being there that are bothersome.

  24. Mary England

    As A former staff member (very short lived)I would be re-miss and not able to handle “keeping secrets” regarding that hideous place. I stayed longer than I should have. I sided with the students and was afraid for them. The staff did everything to get rid of me. I finally made the choice on my terms NOT THEIRS.I did not get along with most staff .I did know Dennis D. I was there in the 2000’s. I currently have friendships and speak to a few kids I’d would do anything for them and paid for it! The trauma and “therapy” was a crime and not what I believe Mel had in mind.

  25. I salute you for standing up for what was right and not just ‘following orders’. You were very brave, Mary. Let me speak on behalf of all former alumni that have suffered – Thank you, brave soul. Your words and actions mattered and still do.

  26. Wow! I went to The Carlbrook school in South Boston, VA several years ago and the similarities are uncanny. We went through almost exactly the same things. It’s amazing to see how many other people went through these horrific events that NO ONE else can really understand. Thank you for creating this and sharing this with us.

  27. So how do I get a hold of Liam?

    I was at RMA from aug 93- jan 96 , I knew jake and was there for the john Avila suicide.
    I met and had a two hour long conversation with wasserman,

    Would be happy to help in this doc.
    Please let me know,

  28. I went to monarch school run by Timothy earle who’s father (can’t remember his first name) worked at cedu and I’m not 100% sure if Timothy was a student or a staffs son just observing but Monarch followed the exact same pattern as cedu. Integritty, innocence, unity, i vs. me, and then the pinnacle or summit. i was sent to monarch at age 14 and watching these videos made me feel like I was there again. I had no idea there was groups out there like this and maybe I hope talking to others who had the same experience can help people heal. Thank you

  29. Carlbrook was started by a woman from a CEDU school that’s why its so similar and Tim Earle is Dan Earle’s son (he basically co-founded at least Rocky Mountain Academy I know).

  30. Liam,
    Have you ever contacted Gerald Jampolsky the author of Love is letting Go of Fear? It’s where many of the excerises came from and at the end of my Summit or stay at RMA I can’t remember, they gave us a copy. But I went to a workshop on the Course in Miracles and heard him speak and actually met with him and told him what was done with his books and he had no idea. I bought a copy there and had it signed by him and now read it and believe it, the real teachings not meant to be used in the way they were.
    I was very close with Mare, even attended her memorial services, and am close to handful original staff and staff that stayed for many years. I have heard the ins and outs of how it worked where the philosiphies came from. It was an eclectic mix of teachings not just Synanon that is a small piece of a beginning. Many staff stayed for US cause even when they knew things were not ok (not justifying their behavoir but most staff couldn’t talk to our parents either). The human resources department did and I know when the one I know spoke up for a student she was escorted off property without saying goodbye or gathering anything. And the staff were NOT paid well so they were the sales people. It does make me wonder where all the money went.
    I’m wondering where all the money did go? I still hear it from my parents how much they spent on me there. But they don’t know what it was like. And I finally got to a point where I said thank you yes it saved my life. In hopes I could move on from them guilting me. They don’t realize how the school literally brainwashed into believing that for the rest of our lives we could never reveal what was happening there to anyone including our parents! Or we would never leave they would get extended custody, commit us somewhere, and/or make life a living hell!
    With all that said after being there about 18 months I finally made the decision to get what I could out of the place and found the staff that actually would help me. The ones who admitted my dad and step-mom had serious issues and I needed to finish high school so I could be on my own as soon as possible. They taught me how to “play nice” with them. And as built relationships with those staff who now are like family to me I learned what love is and what the program was neant to be. It was NOT created with the intention to steal money (it started with homeless people being taken in) and abuse/trauma was what they wanted to help people put behind them. Along the way it did get messed up and we are owed this oppurtunity to get some truth out there. And save some lives.
    I know that was a lot. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts.

  31. My parents know Mary Margaret Cordner’s mother and I met them both. She was in several raps with me in 1997 and 1998 when I was there. We are from the same state I believe. Read my other post it’s on here somewhere, it is important!

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